Bullying rarely occurs in isolation because of the role social status plays in the bully's motivation. Bullying others is seen as a way to gain status and has been proven to be a successful strategy both for socially competent and socially inept individuals.
According to Erik Erikson's stages of development, industry versus inferiority is the psychological conflict of middle childhood, which is resolved positively when experiences lead children to develop a sense of competence at useful skills and tasks. One of those main tasks is learning how to fit in to a peer group. The danger at this stage is inferiority, reflected in the sad pessimism of children who have little confidence in their ability to do things well, like being socially acceptable to others. Some of the key developments going on during this stage are:
- Children begin to make social comparisons in that they judge their appearance, abilities, and behavior in relation to those of others.
- The changing content of self-concept is a product of both cognitive capacities and feedback from others.
- Although parents remain influential, between the ages of 8 and 15 peers become more important.
- Classrooms, playgrounds, and peer groups are key contexts in which children learn to evaluate their own competence.
- By age 7 to 8, children have formed three separate self-esteems-academic, physical, and social-that become more refined with age.
In a 2010 article, Tom Farmer and colleagues reported on the "two social worlds" of bullying: marginalization on the one hand, and connection on the other. Socially marginalized bullies "may be fighting against a social system that keeps them on the periphery," whereas socially connected bullies "may use aggression to control" others. This is the essence of inferiority vs industry at work in a social context.
Unpopular bullies are often shunted into peer groups with other bullies, and sometimes even with those they harass. Marginalized bullies, more often boys than girls, have a host of problems of which bullying behavior is but one manifestation. Their bullying might stem from an inability to control their impulsive actions, a negative home environment or from a desire to gain status that generally eludes them. They feel inferior and use bullying to gain mastery over something, or in this case, someone.
Socially connected bullies tend to be proactive and goal-directed in their aggression. They have lots of experience with peers, perhaps as far back as the day-care years (Rodkin & Roisman, 2010). Some bullies incorporate prosocial strategies into their behavioral repertoire, for example reconciling with their targets after conflict or becoming less aggressive once they have established a clear dominance relationship (Pellegrini et al., 2010). This type of bully has learned how to use bullying to further their social agenda and feel more socially industrious.
The point is that to label bullies as "mean" is to simplistic and to try to discipline a bully into compliance will miss the mark. In order for us to deal with bullying effectively, we must take a closer look at the motivating factors behind the aggression so we can design effective interventions that will help us teach children how to acquire the developmental competencies they need to feel connect and industrious in the world as they move forward.
