Character Education 2.0

I grew up in a pretty normal family for my generation. Dad went to work and Mom stayed home. We went to church every Sunday and ate together every evening. My siblings and I were taught basic manners like saying ma'am and sir when addressing adults and how to behave appropriately in public. And we were held accountable if we didn't adhere to these standards, often through the use of corporal punishment.

Although we moved quite often, we were always surrounded by a large network of loving and caring adults who cared deeply about us and were there if we needed them. We had a large extended family that we spent holidays and vacations with almost every year. Basic social skills were ingrained in the fabric of our upbringing. Unfortunately, our public education system still believes that this is the case for most students.

The majority of today's school aged children aren't growing up in this kind of environment and most have not been taught the social skills they need for success. What's changed? Often times, both parents are working and have less time for direct family interaction. Many children come from single parent households that are struggling to meet the basic physical needs of the family.

Fewer families are members of faith communities and have much more spread out familial and social networks that aren't able to help raise socially competent children. Then there's technology which is also effecting children's development of these crucial skills. According to a report out of the University of Arkansas:

• Children’s increased use of smart phones and tablets can hinder the development of parts of their brain that affect social skills. 
• Parents who use phones and iPads as a substitute for their own interactions are compromising the development of the attention center of the brain. 
• The parts of the brain that determine attention span can be severely limited if boredom is immediately alleviated rather than endured. 
• The early years of childhood are when the brain is most susceptible to suggestion and molding. Parents who use these device as a means of escaping awkward situations are compromising their children’s ability to cope in the future. 
• More than 70 percent of children under the age of 8 use a smartphone weekly and 28 percent of parents use technology as a parenting supplement. 

What are the consequences of poor social skills? According to the National Association of School Psychologists they are as follows:

• Experience difficulties in interpersonal relationships with parents, teachers, and peers. 
• Evoke highly negative responses from others that lead to high levels of peer rejection. Peer rejection has been linked on several occasions with school violence. 
• Show signs of depression, aggression and anxiety. 
• Demonstrate poor academic performance as an indirect consequence. 
• Show a higher incidence of involvement in the criminal justice system as adults. 

Those are serious consequences that have lasting negative consequences on the prospects for these children. So what are most public schools doing to combat these negative outcomes?

• Requiring teachers to use all their teachable time on strict set of standards that don't directly address or allow for the teaching of social skills. 
• Cutting counselor out of school budgets. 
• Hanging poster on the wall that list expected behaviors and consequences for noncompliance. 

We can no longer allow our education system to push social skills development to the back of the proverbial bus. We can no longer allow schools to use social promotion and harsh punishments to push students through or entirely out of our education system and into the criminal justice system. If not us, who? If not now, when?